ONLINE RELATIONSHIP I – (Be real)

(continuation…)

Let’s start with you before we talk about the “STRANGER”.

I believe that two of the important factors in a relationship, whether online or offline, are honesty and acceptance. We want to be loved and liked for who we are and not what people think we are or what we want them to think we are.

 Be authentic – Let your public profile be truly you not an image you have  created for yourself. I don’t mean post private information like your address, email, passwords, family secrets and such. I mean, be genuine.

Don’t pretend to be the person you’re not. You only come off a “fake” to the people who know you better like your friends and family and given the chance, this blooming romance become personal and serious, he/she will find out the truth too, that you are nothing but a “make-believe character”.

You woudn’t like to be fooled either so don’t do likewise. Be who you are and attract those who like women/men of your personality. The key: attract them with the person that you are and if you don’t, it just means that they prefer a certain type that you don’t fall into. It’s not personal. You can’t pretend forever so might as well be honest from the start.

If you want love, affection, companionship, admit it. Unless you think you’re not human, heartless, doesn’t care and don’t need other people (in that case you shoudn’t be in any social network at all, no need for it, go to the mountain and live in a cave)  then be real and confess you’re also vulnerable. Be self confident but not over the top, be insecure but not paranoid and if you are, tell it so. BE GENUINE!

If you’ve been married before, separated, has a love child, let it be known. Don’t intentionally deceive or lead someone to think you’re single when you’re not (separated) or that you’re single with no children when you do. These facts are important. You want your future lifemate to accept your children too. He/she needs to know what he/she is getting into. BE HONEST!

Be your photo
Of all things, please post only your real pictures! Don’t use another person’s photograph. You can’t be anymore deceitful if you pass yourself off as someone else. Also, don’t use a photograph that was taken twenty years ago when you were  still 100 pounds lighter, it may be the best one you think you have but it’s not you anymore or a picture that’s been photoshopped to perfection. What will you do if the friend online asks to meet in person or worse, fly in from another country to see your flawless complexion, only to find out you don’t look like the one in your profile picture.

Remember that we attract who we are. If you play games online, pretend you’re a bad girl, post sensual or even sexual photos of yourself then what kind of men/women do you think you will attract? Perverts perhaps, a bad boy who later will not treat you well? Is that the kind of person you want to end up with? Maybe you’d prefer a nice guy, maybe not so good looking, maybe not the brainy type but  will treat you like a queen and make you fall in love with who he is, with his values and great personality. Then be the same, be nice, be decent, be truthful. Let it begin with you.

I’ve always been honest to my husband right from the beginning, he knew I’m in a wheelchair, that I didn’t even know how to boil an egg (well, back then), that I crawl on the floor and climb the bed, that I have afro hair and dragon breath in the morning, that I have low self-esteem, insecure and often paranoid (I sound like a psycho) that at times I’m so needy and at other times I just want to be left alone. But I also made it clear that I have a standard and when I love, I love for life with a loyalty that can’t be shaken but whoever I will love has to deserve it. I laid out all the cards on the table and became transparent. Take it or leave it. 

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” I corinthians 13:6

Also read:

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

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