The ONE

It’s less difficult to abstain from sexual activity and remain chaste when one is unattached but the real test comes when you’re already in a relationship so it’s important to choose well way before marriage. 

Choose the protector – If you want to wait to get married before having sex (and you should want that) it’s very important to be upfront with it with your boyfriend or somebody you’re getting involved with. He should respect and understand your decision to wait whether he agrees with it or not (If he is God-fearing, and he should be, this would not be an issue at all). Instead of forcing you or devising ways to change your mind, if he loves you enough and respects your standard, he will protect you from making that mistake.

This is one of the first things I discuss with an interested, potential boyfriend/husband.  It should make him feel happy about it and proud of it because if you ended up with him, he’s assured that no other man has had you or will have you. That should be an honor for any guy rather than a rejection.

Choose the planner – Early in the dating process, he should already have a clear purpose of why he’s dating you and if it works out, what’s the plan? If you’re already boyfriend/girlfriend, it should be clear too, within a few months if  he has  a plan of marrying you.

You don’t have to marry right away but it should be clear that it’s the end goal of the relationship and that  everything the two of you are doing with regards  to the relationship is working towards that future goal, and that the vision is mutual. If it’s unclear that this is what he wants to happen, then your relationship is doomed because it has no direction. 

Choose the ‘communicator” – Communication is very important! A lot of couples separate because of the lack of it. Once communication shuts down, you start drifting apart. It’s like closing the door.

He needs to have the ability to tell you his feelings. You can’t guess, assume or read his mind or know what’s really in his heart. He should be able to tell you what he wants and you should feel the same way with him too. He might think he is showing you love by his ways and not know he is actually hurting you by them and if you fear confronting him and he, the same with you, then clearly you have not established a good communication with each other.

There’s nothing like honest conversations with the one you love whether what is being said or will be said will hurt or heal your wound. Sometimes the only thing separating us from freedom or happiness is a phrase composed of a few words.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.