Searching vs. Waiting

I’ve been hanging out with a new group lately and we’ve had very interesting discussions these last few days, from “law” and ‘grace’, pets and yesterday, about celibacy, marriage and divorce.

Towards the end of our healthy exchange of views, one single woman said that she’s prayed countless times whether God wanted her to marry or not but to this day, God, it seems, is keeping quiet about her inquiry and so she is concluding that for now, she is celibate because this is where God wants her to be, if not so, then where is this man she’s supposed to marry?

I’m not a big fan of ‘searching’ for a partner in life for the women. Even if we, women, searches and find, we can’t pursue. In the end, we will still have to wait. In our search, we might find not only one but a few that we like and all of them may not like us back at all. Nothing we can do but hope that at least, one of them might just feel something for us in time, we can only wait.

By ‘waiting’ though, I don’t mean hide in the cave and rot but being available and open, within sight and within reach but not exhausting and investing so much time trying to look for a relationship. Attend activities for single people, mingle. Go to church. Do I mean, ‘go to church to find a partner there?’ Yes and why not? Church is one of the best places to meet a decent man, at least; I will not recommend nightclubs and dimly lit street corners.

Most of the time, ‘waiting’ bears fruit than ‘searching’. Searching can be very frustrating. You search and find and get rejected BUT waiting on the other hand saves you from further heartbreaks because once some guy makes the move to approach you to get to know you better, you know he’s interested.

While you wait, smile a lot and be pleasant.

I think the ‘searching’ works more for the men.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Further readings:

Is it OK to search for love

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.