Dating and courtship (Part I)
Dating
I often hear that to the guys ‘dating’ is the phase where they try to get to know the girl a little bit better by going out with her. This means, he may be interested but still undecided and by ‘dating’, he’s hoping to see if he and the girl might really have a potential or not.
There’s nothing wrong with this except – more often than not, women don’t see ‘dating’ this way. Sometimes ‘dating’ is seen by women as part of or a prelude to courtship. Most of the time, once a guy starts seeing a girl, asking her out, and it isn’t made clear they’re only going out as friends, she’d start thinking they’re some sort of an item already. And people (at least in the Philippines) who see them steadily dating are thinking the same.
The problem here is while the guy is dating to see if he will commit or not, the girl assumes they’re friends, yes, but more. The fact that she is steadily going out with him, she may already be emotionally committing to this “more” thing more than she should.
When the guy realizes and sees they’re not compatible, she’s not the girlfriend he’s been searching for and stops seeing her or loses interest, the girl feels played and led on.
This is the problem with dating if it’s not clear to the two of you why you’re going out. In the Philippines; if two people steadily go out together, either they’re dating as a couple OR it isn’t considered dating, ‘just going out with a friend.’
Note: To the women – never assume anything unless there’s verbal confirmation. I always say this, if a guy likes you, he will say it. If he’s genuinely interested, he won’t let his chance pass to win your heart.
I often hear that to the guys ‘dating’ is the phase where they try to get to know the girl a little bit better by going out with her. This means, he may be interested but still undecided and by ‘dating’, he’s hoping to see if he and the girl might really have a potential or not.
There’s nothing wrong with this except – more often than not, women don’t see ‘dating’ this way. Sometimes ‘dating’ is seen by women as part of or a prelude to courtship. Most of the time, once a guy starts seeing a girl, asking her out, and it isn’t made clear they’re only going out as friends, she’d start thinking they’re some sort of an item already. And people (at least in the Philippines) who see them steadily dating are thinking the same.
The problem here is while the guy is dating to see if he will commit or not, the girl assumes they’re friends, yes, but more. The fact that she is steadily going out with him, she may already be emotionally committing to this “more” thing more than she should.
When the guy realizes and sees they’re not compatible, she’s not the girlfriend he’s been searching for and stops seeing her or loses interest, the girl feels played and led on.
This is the problem with dating if it’s not clear to the two of you why you’re going out. In the Philippines; if two people steadily go out together, either they’re dating as a couple OR it isn’t considered dating, ‘just going out with a friend.’
Note: To the women – never assume anything unless there’s verbal confirmation. I always say this, if a guy likes you, he will say it. If he’s genuinely interested, he won’t let his chance pass to win your heart.
"Jesus Christ loves you and died for you."
Comments
Can I link this in/from my blog? =D