Why do we act like idiots around the one we like?

I’m certain a lot of single people have asked this question. You don’t act yourself, you say the wrong things, the guys come off as jerks (even when they’re really not) and the girls, snobs (even when the truth is, all we really want is to hang out with you). Why, why, why?

Fear of rejection is the answer. Do you notice, it’s easier to be around and caring to the ones we really have no affection for, it doesn’t hurt if we get snubbed or our first ‘hello’ got no reply? We’d keep trying and just shrug off every slighting episode BUT if it’s that special someone that did that to us, the one we truly have feelings for, it feels like a stab?

It’s because the ones we really have no sincere and genuine interest in can never break our hearts. There’s nothing to break when there’s really nothing there in the first place, here the rejection is taken very lightly if any rejection at all will be felt.

So why do we act like idiots around the one we like? Why can’t we be just ourselves? Why do we act like we’re so cool when we’re actually so nervous? BECAUSE it’s easier to take if we get rejected for the person we’re not. Why do we say the wrong things? Instead of saying “I like you”, we say, “There’s this girl/guy I like…” (When at the back of our minds we say, it’s you! It’s you! Why don’t you get it? Haha!) It’s because we’re afraid we won’t get the “I like you too” reply.

So what do we do to make it right? Let me just say that this is a very normal behavior, I say normal but I won’t say healthy. One of the most important ingredients of any relationship (friendship or romantic) is honesty. Being yourself and being able to say truthfully what’s on your mind and what you feel is one of the ways we can all know each other more deeply.

So, again, what do we do? What else can I say but WORK OUT THE GUTS TO BE HONEST ENOUGH to show your real self and say what you really want to say! Not easy I know, I too say the wrong things and do the wrongs things at times when I’m around the guy I like but eventually I’ll gather enough strength to be truthful and what a release and relief once I have.

Now if you continue to act like an insensitive dork around the one you like then don’t blame him/her once she gets tired of it and give you the thumbs down. You might actually, deserve it.

Further Readings:

Why you shouldn’t be torpe (shy)