The loss of a friend and a forfeited chance

I’ve known him for twenty years. I remember him sitting a few yards from me, watching my class saying

“Makinig kayo sa teacher n’yo.” (Listen to your teacher.)

Although he’s been ill for a while now and I even mentioned him in my post here a few weeks ago, and have known for a time now that he’ll be going home to the Lord soon, the news still affects us so.

I had little sleep last night; I keep hearing his voice in my head –

“Thess, tawag ka lang pag may problema ha, tawag ka pag di umubra yung number at dial mo muna, 1010”. (Thess, just call when there’s a problem, call if the number isn’t working and remember to dial 1010 first.)

This was always his dialogue. When his parents went abroad (and they’re close to my parents) and his mom wants us to call her. She has him buy a call card and then he calls the house and gives me the number to punch in and the instruction and I do the long distance call for my dad. These were are only conversations.

I never did exert an effort to really talk to him despite mom’s suggestion to call him at times and give him encouragement (since he’s been sick). But I’m just too shy. I’d only call a guy if I feel comfortable with him otherwise I won’t ever have the nerve to. I could’ve, it was an opportunity to minister but I passed on the chance several times and now that chance is forever forfeited.

Nestor succumbed to Cirrhosis of the liver, he was 40. He left a girlfriend behind who never left his side. No kids, never married. His family is close to us, almost like relatives.

We’ve braced ourselves for this but one can’t ever truly be prepared enough for the loss of a friend. It would hurt no matter what.

If there’s any comfort for us, it’s the thought that he’s home now with the Lord, he will no longer suffer any pain. We rejoice in that but we will miss him.

I just wish I talked to him more.