ATTRACTION - (A Comparative Study)
I conducted a survey among friends, males and females, ages ranging from 18 and above. I gave them the following questions and compared the answers they provided and here are the results:
IS ATTRACTION ALL PHYSICAL FOR YOU?
It seems that no matter the gender, even if both doesn’t place that much value on physical attraction, initially there has to be, at least to some degree, at first meeting.
I noticed though that the importance placed on the physical appearance of the opposite gender decreases as one ages even with the men. The older and more mature (not meaning age here but emotionally and mentally) one is, the more one puts value on what’s underneath rather than what’s on the surface.
Does physical attraction last then, and is it enough to keep one interested?
Short term attraction - What attracts you first thing when you meet someone from the opposite gender? What would kill that attraction?
Female, married, 60 above
Their smile. Bad breath! lol Coming on too strong, vulgarity
Imagine someone suddenly walking in the scene, great smile, and nice set of teeth but when she came close and said hello her breath almost killed you or a hunk with a killer body and killer odor too. That will definitely end the attraction.
But let’s say the person both look good and smell good, is that enough to keep her/him?
Well, the survey reveals that for both sexes, the physical attraction ends where the unpleasant personality and character begins. It seems that at this early stage, genuineness is important already. Any discerned falsehood and vanity right here ends everything.
Long term attraction - What keeps you attracted to the opposite gender, to a point where you'll take it to a deeper level?
So what would keep the interest burning? Here, the answers differ.
THE WOMEN -I noticed that, based on the answers the women gave (ages 18, 20, 39, 45, 55, 60) the survey seem to show that for us to stay attracted, to the point we’ll be willing to take it to a deeper level, there’s one quality we all seem to look for in a guy – ‘the friend” who can make us laugh and keep a good conversation. I think it’s because women enjoy talking and so we’d want someone who’s good in conversing and a ‘friend’ we can open up and talk to.
THE MEN – The men on the other hand, who participated (ages 30, 31, 36, 38, 40, 65) seem to look for a common quality too, for them to stay attracted and interested – “humility and a serving heart”. I suppose because men want submission?
And for both, again, that word – “Genuineness”.
CONCLUSION:
From this I see that yes, physical appearance do have a place in the game of love but plays only a minor role. It’s still the person inside that we are and the values that we hold and live by that will keep that attraction aflame.
So we (men and women), do need to take care of ourselves to be healthy and to look pleasing for the initial meeting BUT more on working harder to be a better God-fearing, God-pleasing person because that’s what would really make it last.
My favorite answer for this survey:
Female, single, 18
What usually attracts me at first to someone is a sense of humor and the ability to look past my chair.(I suppose because I can relate)
Songs Of Solomon 8:4, - "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
To be continued…
Further reading:
Does attraction of opposites last?
IS ATTRACTION ALL PHYSICAL FOR YOU?
It seems that no matter the gender, even if both doesn’t place that much value on physical attraction, initially there has to be, at least to some degree, at first meeting.
I noticed though that the importance placed on the physical appearance of the opposite gender decreases as one ages even with the men. The older and more mature (not meaning age here but emotionally and mentally) one is, the more one puts value on what’s underneath rather than what’s on the surface.
Does physical attraction last then, and is it enough to keep one interested?
Short term attraction - What attracts you first thing when you meet someone from the opposite gender? What would kill that attraction?
Female, married, 60 above
Their smile. Bad breath! lol Coming on too strong, vulgarity
Imagine someone suddenly walking in the scene, great smile, and nice set of teeth but when she came close and said hello her breath almost killed you or a hunk with a killer body and killer odor too. That will definitely end the attraction.
But let’s say the person both look good and smell good, is that enough to keep her/him?
Well, the survey reveals that for both sexes, the physical attraction ends where the unpleasant personality and character begins. It seems that at this early stage, genuineness is important already. Any discerned falsehood and vanity right here ends everything.
Long term attraction - What keeps you attracted to the opposite gender, to a point where you'll take it to a deeper level?
So what would keep the interest burning? Here, the answers differ.
THE WOMEN -I noticed that, based on the answers the women gave (ages 18, 20, 39, 45, 55, 60) the survey seem to show that for us to stay attracted, to the point we’ll be willing to take it to a deeper level, there’s one quality we all seem to look for in a guy – ‘the friend” who can make us laugh and keep a good conversation. I think it’s because women enjoy talking and so we’d want someone who’s good in conversing and a ‘friend’ we can open up and talk to.
THE MEN – The men on the other hand, who participated (ages 30, 31, 36, 38, 40, 65) seem to look for a common quality too, for them to stay attracted and interested – “humility and a serving heart”. I suppose because men want submission?
And for both, again, that word – “Genuineness”.
CONCLUSION:
From this I see that yes, physical appearance do have a place in the game of love but plays only a minor role. It’s still the person inside that we are and the values that we hold and live by that will keep that attraction aflame.
So we (men and women), do need to take care of ourselves to be healthy and to look pleasing for the initial meeting BUT more on working harder to be a better God-fearing, God-pleasing person because that’s what would really make it last.
My favorite answer for this survey:
Female, single, 18
What usually attracts me at first to someone is a sense of humor and the ability to look past my chair.(I suppose because I can relate)
Songs Of Solomon 8:4, - "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
To be continued…
Further reading:
Does attraction of opposites last?
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