why are you marrying? II
I know, I’ve never been married so what do I know about it, right? Well, I don’t claim to be an expert, I’m just sharing my take on the matter and up to you to decide whether I’ve a point or not, whether you will take my opinion to heart or discard it.
I’m surrounded by couples (church couples, relatives and my own parents) who’ve been married for 30 plus years more than ones who’ve divorced or separated and from their stories and advices, I’ve learned that marriage is a very complex institution. It’s a lot of work, a lot of giving, of unconditional putting up of two people with each other.
So if you’re marrying because you’re thinking only of all the things you’ll be getting from it, all that unrealistic sappiness and whatnots, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you’re marrying because you’re thinking of all the things you can give in it, all the things you can add (and I mean good things not headaches) to another’s life, you’ll be more than expecting happiness from another person, you’ll be giving it and making it happen.
So if you can’t stop thinking of your self, you, your time, your space, your freedom, your decisions, your needs, don’t marry, you’ll make a very bad and whiny partner.
But if you are marrying because you want to make this person you’re with, happy for the rest of his/her life already. You’re willing to make his/her faith your faith, his/her causes your causes. That even if she/he starts wrinkling, getting sickly at one point, become grumpy some days, lose her/his teeth, lose his/her hair, you’d still stick. For richer or poorer and you’ve PRAYED REAL HARD! If so then go ahead, take the plunge. If by all means, you just can’t live without this person anymore and GOD has given you the thumbs up, who am I to question that?
I’m surrounded by couples (church couples, relatives and my own parents) who’ve been married for 30 plus years more than ones who’ve divorced or separated and from their stories and advices, I’ve learned that marriage is a very complex institution. It’s a lot of work, a lot of giving, of unconditional putting up of two people with each other.
So if you’re marrying because you’re thinking only of all the things you’ll be getting from it, all that unrealistic sappiness and whatnots, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you’re marrying because you’re thinking of all the things you can give in it, all the things you can add (and I mean good things not headaches) to another’s life, you’ll be more than expecting happiness from another person, you’ll be giving it and making it happen.
So if you can’t stop thinking of your self, you, your time, your space, your freedom, your decisions, your needs, don’t marry, you’ll make a very bad and whiny partner.
But if you are marrying because you want to make this person you’re with, happy for the rest of his/her life already. You’re willing to make his/her faith your faith, his/her causes your causes. That even if she/he starts wrinkling, getting sickly at one point, become grumpy some days, lose her/his teeth, lose his/her hair, you’d still stick. For richer or poorer and you’ve PRAYED REAL HARD! If so then go ahead, take the plunge. If by all means, you just can’t live without this person anymore and GOD has given you the thumbs up, who am I to question that?
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