Second Chance
I know my posts are mostly for single women who are still waiting for the right guy to show up at their doorsteps, or for the brokenhearted ones, always encouraging to wait till marriage and to only settle for the best, that we (women) always deserve better than we think we do. But what about those who’ve made mistakes in the past, those who only wanted and deserved the best too but had fallen to temptation or made the wrong turn? Is there space for them in my blog? Do I have anything to offer them?
Honestly, I’ve never been in that place, and lacking experience in that field, I’ve reservation as to whether I have any right to offer anything and if I’m to comfort, how and with what? Nonetheless, it’s inevitable. Sooner or later I’d have to write about it.
So in the last days of January 2009 (4 days more) I’ll be touching the subject as honestly but as discreetly as I can.
Losing Innocence
So you lost your virginity to your boyfriend, maybe not just once have you slept with him but a few times even (maybe it’s not just with one guy?). The relationship didn’t last, he didn’t marry you. He just used you over and over. Maybe it produced a child or maybe not. And now, you feel like ‘damaged goods”.
Well, you can never go back to being a virgin again (Physically or emotionally), that innocence is lost forever. No matter how you deny it, you know something very personal and important to you has been taken away by that experience and you feel lesser. You’re thinking you’ve less to offer now and settling for whoever may come your way seems the next best thing. WRONG! Thinking this way will lead you to make another wrong decision like you did before.
Here’s what I encourage you to do –
Ask God for forgiveness. “1 John 1:9 – if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.- NIV” Not only are we going to be forgiven but we will also be cleansed. And God’s not like men who forgives but remembers. “Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.- NIV”
Forgive your self – Often even if we know God’s forgiven us, we won’t forgive ourselves. We keep the guilt inside, we hold on to it. Hold on to the lesson instead. Don’t deny it ever happened, admit you made a mistake but it’s over and done with. Move on.
Change – If you haven’t made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior yet, do it. Be a new person. “2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – AKJV” All you have to do is repent of your sins and invite Jesus to your heart as the Lord and Savior of your life. “Romans 10:9,10 - That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart man believes to righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made to salvation. – AKJV” You say is that all? I say, yes, that is all. “Ephesians 2:8,9 - For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast- AKJV” Find a good church and fellowship with believers. Choose friends who will be good influences to you.
Of course, change will not happen overnight. Even believers struggle everyday. But with God and our willingness, we’ll all get there.
The important thing is that there’s hope after the mistakes in the past and to not let them happen again. Stop sitting on the mud and get up, and don’t settle for less again.
Honestly, I’ve never been in that place, and lacking experience in that field, I’ve reservation as to whether I have any right to offer anything and if I’m to comfort, how and with what? Nonetheless, it’s inevitable. Sooner or later I’d have to write about it.
So in the last days of January 2009 (4 days more) I’ll be touching the subject as honestly but as discreetly as I can.
Losing Innocence
So you lost your virginity to your boyfriend, maybe not just once have you slept with him but a few times even (maybe it’s not just with one guy?). The relationship didn’t last, he didn’t marry you. He just used you over and over. Maybe it produced a child or maybe not. And now, you feel like ‘damaged goods”.
Well, you can never go back to being a virgin again (Physically or emotionally), that innocence is lost forever. No matter how you deny it, you know something very personal and important to you has been taken away by that experience and you feel lesser. You’re thinking you’ve less to offer now and settling for whoever may come your way seems the next best thing. WRONG! Thinking this way will lead you to make another wrong decision like you did before.
Here’s what I encourage you to do –
Ask God for forgiveness. “1 John 1:9 – if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.- NIV” Not only are we going to be forgiven but we will also be cleansed. And God’s not like men who forgives but remembers. “Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.- NIV”
Forgive your self – Often even if we know God’s forgiven us, we won’t forgive ourselves. We keep the guilt inside, we hold on to it. Hold on to the lesson instead. Don’t deny it ever happened, admit you made a mistake but it’s over and done with. Move on.
Change – If you haven’t made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior yet, do it. Be a new person. “2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – AKJV” All you have to do is repent of your sins and invite Jesus to your heart as the Lord and Savior of your life. “Romans 10:9,10 - That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart man believes to righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made to salvation. – AKJV” You say is that all? I say, yes, that is all. “Ephesians 2:8,9 - For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast- AKJV” Find a good church and fellowship with believers. Choose friends who will be good influences to you.
Of course, change will not happen overnight. Even believers struggle everyday. But with God and our willingness, we’ll all get there.
The important thing is that there’s hope after the mistakes in the past and to not let them happen again. Stop sitting on the mud and get up, and don’t settle for less again.
Comments
i was really surprised when she told me about it. but now she's doing fine. she was able to recover. and what's good about her is that she is now living a different life- a life a christian should live. she really does her best to protect her testimony as a believer. she doesn't have time for a boyfriend right now, but has her whole time serving in the ministry.
yeah, everybody deserves a second chance... third chance for her.
Sometimes we don't realize the consequences of our actions until we suffer them.
God bless her and you for sharing that.