Understanding women #1
…when we talk…
..and share our problems it doesn’t always mean we’re asking for help or that we want you to do something about it or solve the problem. It would be nice if you could but sometimes just listening helps. Don’t feel frustrated not being able to do anything about it. Often we just want to tell, let it out, vent. Giving time to listen, giving a few suggestions or thought, just to show you heard all that we said, is often comforting enough.
When we say what we don’t mean and mean what we don’t say. Yes. I’m ashamed to admit it but we’re born with the ability to masquerade what we’re really thinking and feeling and put them into words that also mean the opposite. So if we say ‘yes’, it could mean ‘no’ and vice versa.
We’re not playing games! Sometimes we do that to not hurt feelings or because we tend to think that if you know us enough already, you should be able to read between the lines and realize we’re trying to say another thing. I know you don’t have ESP! It’s something we need to and should overcome. Nothing like telling it like it is and being clearly understood.
When we nag – Most likely because we feel you didn’t hear us the first, second and third time (because you didn’t respond or budge) so we keep repeating. We feel something needs urgent attention and should be addressed as soon as possible.
Because the people we live with are forgetful. How often do we get blamed for not reminding a family member about something he/she needs to do and hear the words – “why didn’t you remind me???” (like we don’t forget things too) VERY OFTEN! So to remedy that, we repeatedly remind till the task is done.
So when we talk, listen. That’s one of the ways to know us better.
..and share our problems it doesn’t always mean we’re asking for help or that we want you to do something about it or solve the problem. It would be nice if you could but sometimes just listening helps. Don’t feel frustrated not being able to do anything about it. Often we just want to tell, let it out, vent. Giving time to listen, giving a few suggestions or thought, just to show you heard all that we said, is often comforting enough.
When we say what we don’t mean and mean what we don’t say. Yes. I’m ashamed to admit it but we’re born with the ability to masquerade what we’re really thinking and feeling and put them into words that also mean the opposite. So if we say ‘yes’, it could mean ‘no’ and vice versa.
We’re not playing games! Sometimes we do that to not hurt feelings or because we tend to think that if you know us enough already, you should be able to read between the lines and realize we’re trying to say another thing. I know you don’t have ESP! It’s something we need to and should overcome. Nothing like telling it like it is and being clearly understood.
When we nag – Most likely because we feel you didn’t hear us the first, second and third time (because you didn’t respond or budge) so we keep repeating. We feel something needs urgent attention and should be addressed as soon as possible.
Because the people we live with are forgetful. How often do we get blamed for not reminding a family member about something he/she needs to do and hear the words – “why didn’t you remind me???” (like we don’t forget things too) VERY OFTEN! So to remedy that, we repeatedly remind till the task is done.
So when we talk, listen. That’s one of the ways to know us better.
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