- You like each other and you’re together (BUT it’s all vague). Welcome to the “MU” (Mutual Understanding) zone. More like “Mutual Confusion” if you ask me.
A friend of mine was in a relationship one time and I asked her when were they celebrating their Anniversary and she said they don’t have one. I asked “how come?” and she said because “We don’t know when we became together. We never talked about it.”
My question is – how do you know you’re together then? This kind of relationship is solely based on ‘the assumption’ that you’re together or have an understanding that you’re together but it isn’t official nor has there ever been any verbal confirmation of this. How do you know then that you’re not “just friends” flirting? You DON’T!
Because no verbal commitment was ever made, both of you can just walk away from it anytime you want to. And neither of you can blame each other or should feel betrayed if one of you did (which we know is not what happens) because there was never any agreement in the first place.
Do not get involved in something like this. It’s guaranteed to hurt in the end. If a man truly has sincere intentions, he would prefer to make it official and announce it to the world (same with a woman). There’s something wrong in the picture if it’s not so. Unless it’s official, it isn’t anything.
For further readings:
MU (Mutual Understanding) and Ambiguous Relationships
to be continued...
Comments
I was passing througout the net and saw your blog.
Thank you for the encouraging thoughts about marriage and relashionships. You are very inspiring.
By the way... sorry for my misereable English, I'm not English, I'm Portuguese.
May God bless you always!
You say that a verbal commitment is a necessary prerequisite to a true and lasting relationship. You are correct up to a point. I agree that for a relationship to last there needs to be a commitment, but that commitment can be expressed in ways other than verbal. sometimes there is no need of words and sometimes word can actually get in the way and obscure the message that is being sent. I think that what you are tryin to to do here is to lay down rules for human conduct and that just doesn't work. Jesus had many harsh words to say about those who placed the law above the people that should have been served by that law. The two most important commandments, by the calculation of the being who wrote them, says nothing about loving the law. We are to love God primarily and people next. The law is the servant of the people, not the other way round. Your loving turtle
I'm not laying down rules. I'm simply saying - to not assume things that aren't clear in the first place.
I've had women friends get hurt by this kind of relationship (MU - which is prevalent among our young people here today.)
And I don't see why words should get in the way in this case,but would rather solidify the relationship more. Two people who are supposed to love each other shouldn't have trouble verbalizing what they feel.
this is the third time I've read your blog. Found my way here through someone else's
your writing defines what a lot of women go through, thanks to you who made it more concrete as you put it in words. You sort of verbalise things we go through but do not bother enough to pause, stop, think and even write it down.
Now I read these assumptions series and these entries make me stop and realize sighing, "ah, this is what I am going through."
oh by the way, I enjoy the way you write. I did mention it before, and well, here it goes again.
keep it up!
God bless you behind your expectations :)
-Pinay Po